If you’ve ever asked “How was your day?” and gotten “fine” in response, you know that not all questions are created equal. These ideas are designed to move you from silence (or parallel screen time) to genuine dialogue. Some will land. Some won’t. That’s okay. Start anywhere. Ask anything.
Three tips:
- Share your own answers too. Conversation is a two-way street.
- If a question lands flat, move on. If it sparks something, lean in.
- Let them info-dump about Minecraft or marine biology. That’s connection.
Get Them Talking About What They Love
- If you could teach me one thing you’re really good at, what would it be?
- What’s something you know a lot about that most people don’t?
- What’s the most interesting thing you learned on YouTube/TikTok this week?
- If you had to give a 10-minute presentation on any topic right now, what would you pick?
- What’s a skill you wish you had? Why that one?
- What’s something you used to think was true but now you know isn’t?
- What’s the weirdest fact you know?
- If you could be an expert in anything by tomorrow morning, what would you choose?
- What’s something adults don’t understand about being your age?
The Hypothetical Questions
- If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?
- Would you rather fight one horse-sized duck or 100 duck-sized horses?
- If animals could talk, which one would be the rudest?
- What would be the worst superpower to have?
- If you had to live in a video game, TV show, or movie world, which would you pick?
- Would you rather time travel to the past or the future? Why?
- If you could invent a holiday, what would it celebrate and how would we observe it?
- What’s the most useless talent you have?
- If you were a teacher, what subject would you teach and what’s the first thing you’d do differently?
- Would you rather be able to talk to animals or speak every human language?
- If you could swap lives with anyone for a day, who would it be?
- What flavor of ice cream describes your day today?
- If our family was a TV show, what genre would it be? What would it be called?
- Would you rather be stuck on a deserted island or stuck in a haunted house?
- If you could add one subject to school that doesn’t exist, what would it be?
Identity & Values
- What’s something you’re proud of yourself for recently?
- What makes you feel most like yourself?
- If you could describe yourself in three words, what would they be?
- What’s one thing you want to get better at this year?
- When do you feel most confident?
- What’s something that made you laugh today?
- Who do you look up to? Why them?
- What’s something you used to be scared of but aren’t anymore?
- What’s the best compliment someone could give you?
- If you could change one thing about the world, what would it be?
- What does a perfect day look like for you?
- What’s something you wish you were brave enough to do?
- What are you better at than most people your age?
- What do you think is your best quality?
- When do you feel most calm/peaceful?
Understanding Their Social World
- What’s the funniest thing that happened with your friends recently?
- Who makes you laugh the most?
- What do you and your friends talk about most?
- If you could plan a perfect hangout with friends, what would you do?
- What’s something you wish your friends understood about you?
- Who sits with you at lunch? What do you guys do?
- What’s the nicest thing a friend has done for you recently?
- If you could have dinner with any three people (alive or dead), who would you pick?
- What do you think makes a good friend?
- What’s something that’s hard about friendships right now?
The “Real Talk” Questions
- What’s something that’s been bothering you lately?
- What’s been stressing you out?
- If you could ask me anything right now, what would it be?
- What’s something you’re worried about?
- What’s something you’re excited about?
- Is there anything you want to talk about but don’t know how to bring up?
- What’s something you wish we did more of as a family?
- What makes you feel loved?
- What’s something you wish I knew about you?
- How can I help you this week?
- What’s something that’s confusing you right now?
- What’s been the hardest part of your day/week?
- What do you need from me that you’re not getting?
- What’s something you’re looking forward to?
- What’s something you’re dreading?
Memory & Story Questions
- What’s your favorite memory from when you were little?
- What’s the earliest thing you remember?
- What’s your favorite family tradition?
- If you could relive one day from your life, which would it be?
- What’s the best birthday you ever had?
- What do you remember about learning to ride a bike/swim/read?
- What’s your favorite place we’ve ever been together?
- What’s a family story you love to hear over and over?
- What’s something you remember that I might not know you remember?
- What’s your favorite thing we do together?
Creative & Imagination Questions
- If you could design your dream bedroom, what would be in it?
- If you wrote a book, what would it be about?
- If you could invent something, what would it be?
- What would your superhero name and power be?
- If you could create a new app, what would it do?
- If you made a movie, what genre would it be and who would star in it?
- If you could redesign school from scratch, what would you change?
- What’s something you wish existed but doesn’t?
- If you could build anything (no limits on money or materials), what would you build?
- What would your YouTube channel or podcast be about?
Preference & Personality Questions
- What’s your favorite way to spend a Saturday?
- Beach or mountains?
- Would you rather read the book or watch the movie?
- What’s your comfort food?
- What song is stuck in your head right now?
- What’s your favorite season? Why?
- Morning person or night owl?
- What’s your ideal temperature?
- If you could only watch three movies for the rest of your life, which ones?
- What’s your go-to activity when you’re bored?
- Dogs or cats? (Or neither? Or both? Or something else entirely?)
- What smell reminds you of home?
- Would you rather have a big party or a small gathering?
- What’s your favorite room in our house? Why?
- If you had a free hour right now, what would you do with it?
Gratitude & Positive Reflection
- What’s something good that happened today?
- What made you smile today?
- What’s something you’re grateful for right now?
- Who was kind to you today?
- What’s the best part of your day so far?
- What’s something that went better than you expected today?
- What’s something beautiful you noticed today?
- What’s something you’re looking forward to tomorrow?
- What’s one thing that made today a good day?
- If today was a chapter in a book, what would you title it?
Faith & Meaning Questions
- Where did you see God today?
- What’s something you’re praying about?
- What’s a question you have about God or the Bible?
- What do you think heaven will be like?
- How do you think God sees you?
- What’s your favorite Bible story? Why that one?
- If you could ask Jesus one question, what would it be?
- What’s something about faith that confuses you?
- When do you feel closest to God?
- What do you think God’s favorite thing about you is?
Quick Age Guide
Ages 8-10: Hypothetical questions, silly scenarios, creative prompts, info-dump opportunities (let them teach you about their interests)
Ages 11-13: Identity questions (keep them light), friendship questions, memory questions, hypotheticals. Car rides and bedtime work best. Don’t mock their answers.
Ages 14-18: Real talk questions (earn the right first), values questions, future dreams, questions that respect their independence. Do something together while talking. Put your phone away.
Remember: Have real conversations. Be curious about who your child is becoming, listen more than you talk, and put down your phone and look them in the eye.
